Decisions decisions - a confession

I guess by now, for those who are reading, you must be wondering whether I still saw the Swinger, despite my feelings for my Sydney Boy.

I didn't.  I couldn't.  How could I?  My heart belongs to my Sydney Boy, at least for now, and for however long this feeling lasts, whether that be for a week or a lifetime.

He makes me smile.  We talked for 4 hours on Skype the other night.  He asks some really good questions that really get to the core of who I am (not just the boring old, what do you like doing on the weekends etc), and we talk about a wide variety of topics, and often we'll be talking about "apples", and then suddenly we're talking about "cars" and I can never quite work out how we got from apples to cars.

So, it came to pass that I told him about losing my twins, and the domestic violence in that relationship.  I suppose I shouldn't have been too surprised that he was so understanding - he is just one of those people with such a gentle heart and soul.  I could see he was really actively listening by reflecting back what I was saying.  He showed empathy and understanding.  He said "that must have been really difficult for you - I can see it on your face and hear it in your voice".  He said "I can't imagine going through something so tough".  He said "I feel so proud that you are such a strong person to not only have gone through something so tough, but to be such a positive person today".  He asked how I managed to go through something like that and become so positive because a lot of people wouldn't be.  He asked if there was a particular point, something that helped me through it.  He asked if this had affected the way I trust others, and in particular men.  I answered openly and honestly.  I am relieved that my only baggage is out in the open.  I am glad that he took it so well.  I fell for him a little more when he reacted the way that he did.

When I was in Sydney, I mentioned that one of the things I want to do this year is feed the dolphins.  He said we ought to do it when he comes up for Easter.  I said that it would be an awesome idea.  He went home, looked up all the info, and booked accommodation right where we'll be feeding the dolphins.  Isn't he just awesome?

I got a couple of our Sydney photos printed through the week and put one in a frame by my bed, and another on my desk at work.  I love the way we look together.  In my honest and humble opinion, we make a great looking couple.  I look at the photos taken of us, and I think how gorgeous he is, and also how beautiful I look when I'm with him.  I've rarely been able to look at a photo of me and actually like it.  There are several that were taken when I was with him where I just look at the photo and think, WOW.  I love the way I look and feel when we're together, or when we're talking.

I'm such a lucky girl, and I only have 7 more sleeps til I can see him again.