I neer got a reply to the message I sent that friend who deleted me from Facebook. My other friend who was also deleted without cause or comment sent him a message on Facebook and a text message. She receied a reply to neither message. It was only when she spoke to him on MSN that she found out the reason with a click of a couple of buttons we were remoed from his life.
We lost touch. That was his reason. So, instead of, upon making that realisation, picking up the phone to call or send a text, instead of posting on my Facebook wall or sending a message on Facebook or by email, he simply hit the delete button. Must hae been too much effort for the poor poppet. Or maybe he didn't care enough to bother. Personally, my bet is on both options.
Of course we lost touch - I was no longer liing literally down the street from them anymore!
In this day and age, it's actually pretty easy to keep in touch with people with so much technology at our fingertips. That is, if we care enough to. There's really no excuses for it being too hard to keep in touch. It takes little time and energy to send a quick message ia a number of modern day technologies if one doesn't hae time for a phone call.
Now, I'm the first to admit that when it comes to keeping in touch, I'm no angel. I freely admit that I'm shit at keeping in touch with others. But I'm also not the kind of friend who wants to lie in your pocket. No, you might not hear from me for a few weeks and in a couple of cases a couple of months, but be rest assured that I will think of you and at some point, I will take those few seconds to send you a message, or take the time to gie you a call. But that depends on what effort I see you making for me.
I know that Miss B has been crazy busy with her uni work so we haen't chatted as much as we'd like to but I know that when she has the time, she makes the effort for a phone call or text messages. Similarly Miss L has been busy too but she makes the time when she can for a phone call or a Skype chat. Miss K is a single mum to 2 kids but still makes the time when she has the time. Een Mr M who has his own issues to deal with in his life manages to keep in touch by text message and the occassional online chat or phone call.
It just proes what I had already suspected. At least I know once again that my instincts were right. That's OK though. It gies me more space in my life for those who make the effort.
Those are the real friends, worthy of my time, energy and effort. To those friends (een those who aren't mentioned in this blog) a big thank you. The fact you are dedicating your time, energy and effort to read my blog means you are a good friend too.
xoxoxox
Friday, November 19, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
In my dreams
I have been having such weird dreams lately that I actually remember when I wake up. First there was the one where there was a big snake or python in a tree that chased me, along with all it's tiny little baby snakes and they all bit me all over my feet and then after that I spent my time chasing horses up some hill covered in sunflowers. Then there was the one where my mum gave me someone's baby girl that she'd tried suffocating with plastic over her mouth and nose (WTF?!?!). Then there was the one I had this afternoon when I lay down beside my Sydney Boy who was napping before he went to work tonight.
In the dream, there was a girl, apparently an ex girlfriend of his who was trying to get him back. She was quite beautiful and she kept doing things, trying to break us up, and doing things to make him fall for her. In my dream each time she was there, my heart was in my mouth, scared he'd choose her and leave me. Each time in my dream, he chose me!
When I woke up, I couldn't help but marvel once again at how lucky I am to have met him. Usually our sub conscience shows us the things we fear in our dreams. But in my dream, my Sydney Boy chose me! I couldn't help but feel proud of how secure that I feel in this relationship, not only consciously, but subconsciously too.
I couldn't help but stare at my Sydney Boy sleeping beside me and feel my heart swell with love for him, the man who went out last night after 10pm just to get me a banana to take some headache tablets (I can't take tablets without food) and some milk to make a cup of tea to help the headache.
The man who came home last night with 2 cartons of orange juice as well because he knows I hate carrying them up the hill from the shopping centre.
The man who got up early yesterday to cook me breakfast.
The man who is driving into the city tomorrow afternoon just to pick up the plants I got for free on Friday so we can have some colour on our balcony.
The man who is taking me to Fiji for my birthday and to New Zealand in February.
The man who showers me with kisses and attention.
The man who never fails to make me laugh, even when I'm in a bad mood or had a bad day.
The man who has already planned what he will cook for me for dinner on the nights he has off this week that I just know will be all relatively healthy.
The man who cooked me a chicken stir fry the other night after dinner just so I'd have something healthy to take to work for lunch the next day.
The man who always makes sure there's something quick and easy in the freezer for me to cook on nights he's working and I'm by myself so I don't just have ice cream for dinner, or not eat at all.
The man who has become more domesticated (by washing all of the clothes, vacuuming, washing up and cooking) than I think he has ever been, and taken it within his stride.
The man who goes above and beyond what any other boyfriend in my entire life has ever done.
The man who told me yesterday that I'm not just his girlfriend, but the love of his life.
No wonder I feel lucky, even in my dreams.
In the dream, there was a girl, apparently an ex girlfriend of his who was trying to get him back. She was quite beautiful and she kept doing things, trying to break us up, and doing things to make him fall for her. In my dream each time she was there, my heart was in my mouth, scared he'd choose her and leave me. Each time in my dream, he chose me!
When I woke up, I couldn't help but marvel once again at how lucky I am to have met him. Usually our sub conscience shows us the things we fear in our dreams. But in my dream, my Sydney Boy chose me! I couldn't help but feel proud of how secure that I feel in this relationship, not only consciously, but subconsciously too.
I couldn't help but stare at my Sydney Boy sleeping beside me and feel my heart swell with love for him, the man who went out last night after 10pm just to get me a banana to take some headache tablets (I can't take tablets without food) and some milk to make a cup of tea to help the headache.
The man who came home last night with 2 cartons of orange juice as well because he knows I hate carrying them up the hill from the shopping centre.
The man who got up early yesterday to cook me breakfast.
The man who is driving into the city tomorrow afternoon just to pick up the plants I got for free on Friday so we can have some colour on our balcony.
The man who is taking me to Fiji for my birthday and to New Zealand in February.
The man who showers me with kisses and attention.
The man who never fails to make me laugh, even when I'm in a bad mood or had a bad day.
The man who has already planned what he will cook for me for dinner on the nights he has off this week that I just know will be all relatively healthy.
The man who cooked me a chicken stir fry the other night after dinner just so I'd have something healthy to take to work for lunch the next day.
The man who always makes sure there's something quick and easy in the freezer for me to cook on nights he's working and I'm by myself so I don't just have ice cream for dinner, or not eat at all.
The man who has become more domesticated (by washing all of the clothes, vacuuming, washing up and cooking) than I think he has ever been, and taken it within his stride.
The man who goes above and beyond what any other boyfriend in my entire life has ever done.
The man who told me yesterday that I'm not just his girlfriend, but the love of his life.
No wonder I feel lucky, even in my dreams.
Friday, November 12, 2010
New friends and old
When I first decided to move to Sydney, this is before I met my Sydney Boy, part of me was scared to leave my friends in Brisbane because I was worried about what might happen to those friendships. Although it wasn't the only thing that held me back from making the big move, it certainly played on my mind - after all, I didn't want to move to a completely new city, have trouble making new friends AND lose all the old ones as well!
Fast forward 12 months to when I meet my Sydney Boy and I realise two things. The first is that with him in Sydney, I will always have a friend here. The second being that if the friendship is worth anything, it'll always be there.
So it did not come as a total surprise when I began to see this sort of thing happening. I noticed that there were a couple of people who just did not make the effort. In actual fact, before I left Brisbane, I had begun to notice the little effort they made but always wrote it off. Then they didn't come to my farewell party and had a really dodgy excuse, and then when I invited them to a group lunch thing I was having when I came back for a quick visit (literally off one plane from Mackay, rush to Toombul for lunch and then back on the plane home to Sydney), they didn't even bother RS\/P'ing to the invitation on Facebook. Every time I tried making conversation on MSN with the husband (the person I actually knew first) I felt like I was being met with a brick wall. I decided after a while that maybe because they could see what I was up to on Facebook (the perils of Facebook eh?) that if I hid that info from them, then maybe this would prompt them to get in touch to say "hi" and we'd be able to have a conversation. I noticed tonight that the husband had deleted me off Facebook.
Now, I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised as I'd planned to do something similar myself if nothing had been forthcoming from either of them. And, maybe I should have been adult enough to message them both to say "hey, what's happening, I'm a little concerned about how we don't talk anymore". I guess I could just see little by little that there was less and less effort being put in and I was a little hurt. I'm reminded of the quote...
There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills. ~ Lord Buddha
I'm reminded of this quote because I had suspected for some time that I was not a priority in their life anymore, that I had slipped down the friend ladder (and maybe I shouldn't put too much weight in Facebook, but when they can RS\/P to someone else's parties quickly but not two of my own, it did cause me to wonder...). I had doubted them and without a doubt, they'll have their own views on how things went the way they did.
I'm not devastated about what has happened, but it does make me a little sad whenever any friendship ends for whatever reason, even though I know that not all friendships are forever. I have met some great friends through this couple so nothing is ever a waste of time. I'd probably have done the deletion myself after a while, but I wanted to give them the courtesy of more time, and had planned to try and see them when I was back at Christmas before striking them off for good. I guess the deletion from him shows I was never much of a priority to them (at least not recently), and that my suspicions were warranted.
Then there are some people and things that I do miss dearly. Sometimes I miss being able to meet up with Miss B for a coffee, or lunch, or whatever tickled our fancy to talk through and find meaning things that are happening in our lives. Talking on the phone is really just not the same. I also miss my late night coffees at Maccas with Miss L. Just the other night, I read that the old gang (Miss L, Miss S and Mr D) were there, and I felt a pang of jealousy and sadness as I had realised just what I had been missing. These friendships are, funnily enough, the ones that have gotten stronger since I have been here.
It's not as though I have been looking for new friends here. In actual fact, I haven't been. Life is always so busy with my Sydney Boy that I have barely had time to catch up with the friends I already have here! Don't get me wrong here, it's not often that I feel desperately lonely - my Sydney Boy makes sure I want and need nothing and he makes me so content but it's just that every now and then (usually when my Sydney Boy is at work at night), there's that pang. The pang I know I'd be feeling much much more if my Sydney Boy weren't here to fill the void my friends left.
Who knows what will happen down the track. One of my dearest friends in the whole wide world, my best friend Mr M, didn't speak to me for years, nor I to him (but that is a whoooole new blog post!), and maybe I will make more friends who can fill in (although never replace) the void left by the friends I left behind in Brisbane. And maybe when we move back to Brisbane (whenever that day may be), I will be able to pick up those friendships that have gotten stronger and enjoy them to their fullest once again.
I'll leave you with this quote...
We all lose friends.. we lose them in death, to distance and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, and when the time is right, you can pick up the friendship right where you left off. Even the lost find their way home when you leave the light on." ~ Amy Marie Walz
Fast forward 12 months to when I meet my Sydney Boy and I realise two things. The first is that with him in Sydney, I will always have a friend here. The second being that if the friendship is worth anything, it'll always be there.
So it did not come as a total surprise when I began to see this sort of thing happening. I noticed that there were a couple of people who just did not make the effort. In actual fact, before I left Brisbane, I had begun to notice the little effort they made but always wrote it off. Then they didn't come to my farewell party and had a really dodgy excuse, and then when I invited them to a group lunch thing I was having when I came back for a quick visit (literally off one plane from Mackay, rush to Toombul for lunch and then back on the plane home to Sydney), they didn't even bother RS\/P'ing to the invitation on Facebook. Every time I tried making conversation on MSN with the husband (the person I actually knew first) I felt like I was being met with a brick wall. I decided after a while that maybe because they could see what I was up to on Facebook (the perils of Facebook eh?) that if I hid that info from them, then maybe this would prompt them to get in touch to say "hi" and we'd be able to have a conversation. I noticed tonight that the husband had deleted me off Facebook.
Now, I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised as I'd planned to do something similar myself if nothing had been forthcoming from either of them. And, maybe I should have been adult enough to message them both to say "hey, what's happening, I'm a little concerned about how we don't talk anymore". I guess I could just see little by little that there was less and less effort being put in and I was a little hurt. I'm reminded of the quote...
There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills. ~ Lord Buddha
I'm reminded of this quote because I had suspected for some time that I was not a priority in their life anymore, that I had slipped down the friend ladder (and maybe I shouldn't put too much weight in Facebook, but when they can RS\/P to someone else's parties quickly but not two of my own, it did cause me to wonder...). I had doubted them and without a doubt, they'll have their own views on how things went the way they did.
I'm not devastated about what has happened, but it does make me a little sad whenever any friendship ends for whatever reason, even though I know that not all friendships are forever. I have met some great friends through this couple so nothing is ever a waste of time. I'd probably have done the deletion myself after a while, but I wanted to give them the courtesy of more time, and had planned to try and see them when I was back at Christmas before striking them off for good. I guess the deletion from him shows I was never much of a priority to them (at least not recently), and that my suspicions were warranted.
Then there are some people and things that I do miss dearly. Sometimes I miss being able to meet up with Miss B for a coffee, or lunch, or whatever tickled our fancy to talk through and find meaning things that are happening in our lives. Talking on the phone is really just not the same. I also miss my late night coffees at Maccas with Miss L. Just the other night, I read that the old gang (Miss L, Miss S and Mr D) were there, and I felt a pang of jealousy and sadness as I had realised just what I had been missing. These friendships are, funnily enough, the ones that have gotten stronger since I have been here.
It's not as though I have been looking for new friends here. In actual fact, I haven't been. Life is always so busy with my Sydney Boy that I have barely had time to catch up with the friends I already have here! Don't get me wrong here, it's not often that I feel desperately lonely - my Sydney Boy makes sure I want and need nothing and he makes me so content but it's just that every now and then (usually when my Sydney Boy is at work at night), there's that pang. The pang I know I'd be feeling much much more if my Sydney Boy weren't here to fill the void my friends left.
Who knows what will happen down the track. One of my dearest friends in the whole wide world, my best friend Mr M, didn't speak to me for years, nor I to him (but that is a whoooole new blog post!), and maybe I will make more friends who can fill in (although never replace) the void left by the friends I left behind in Brisbane. And maybe when we move back to Brisbane (whenever that day may be), I will be able to pick up those friendships that have gotten stronger and enjoy them to their fullest once again.
I'll leave you with this quote...
We all lose friends.. we lose them in death, to distance and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, and when the time is right, you can pick up the friendship right where you left off. Even the lost find their way home when you leave the light on." ~ Amy Marie Walz
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Adelaide
A couple of weeks ago we got to go and see Powderfinger in Adelaide which was pretty exciting.
The best part of the weekend was going to Granite Island. If you're ever down that way I highly recommend it. You can catch a horse drawn ferry over there from \/ictor Harbour, or you can walk over, whatever suits you. When we got over there we were lucky enough to get to see some dolphins swimming along the coast. Have I mentioned just how much I love dolphins?!?!
And if that wasn't enough excitement, there was also a sea lion that was about half a metre from the shore. He spent the entire time we were there just lying in the water, obviously enjoying the cool water. Unfortunately we had to drive back to Adelaide for an early morning flight (me back to Sydney, my Sydney Boy to the Gold Coast to see his parents) so we couldn't stay for the Penguin Tour. If we're ever back there, we'll definitely go back and do the tour.
I really quite like Adelaide and I think we'll definitely go back again.
Now, counting down to Fiji....
The best part of the weekend was going to Granite Island. If you're ever down that way I highly recommend it. You can catch a horse drawn ferry over there from \/ictor Harbour, or you can walk over, whatever suits you. When we got over there we were lucky enough to get to see some dolphins swimming along the coast. Have I mentioned just how much I love dolphins?!?!
And if that wasn't enough excitement, there was also a sea lion that was about half a metre from the shore. He spent the entire time we were there just lying in the water, obviously enjoying the cool water. Unfortunately we had to drive back to Adelaide for an early morning flight (me back to Sydney, my Sydney Boy to the Gold Coast to see his parents) so we couldn't stay for the Penguin Tour. If we're ever back there, we'll definitely go back and do the tour.
I really quite like Adelaide and I think we'll definitely go back again.
Now, counting down to Fiji....
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