You might have noticed the fish to the side of my blog - the number of fish in the bowl represent each of the boys:
The red fish is Gruen
The orange fish is X Factor
The yellow fish is AA
The green fish is Swinger (I decided to add him because I think, for no other reason than interest I will meet him and then blog about it...)
I'll add a fish to the box as I meet someone and add them to the mix, which I hopefully will be doing...
Friday, February 26, 2010
Anyone know anything about Twitter?
So Gruen sent an email to a group of people and it came to me. It was a blind email so I can't see who else it was sent to, but it mentions being slack this week and not updating his blog or Twitter. Of course I asked him if he'd give me the link to read, and he said he'll show me when I go to his place, but that its mostly work related.
In case he doesn't give it to me, is there any way I can search through Twitter to find him? I dont use it so I dont know.
And, there's really no way of finding his blog on the WWW without knowing what he blogs under or anything is there?
Anyone know?
In case he doesn't give it to me, is there any way I can search through Twitter to find him? I dont use it so I dont know.
And, there's really no way of finding his blog on the WWW without knowing what he blogs under or anything is there?
Anyone know?
Bits and Bobs
I've been sick this week so there's been very little happening on the Gruen and X Factor fronts. While I'm sure the 1900 sex chat voice is very sexy, the snot and phlegm is remarkably less so ;)
The X Factor has been sweet, sending me text messages to see how I am. I only wish I'd received this much attention from him when we were in a relationship 5 years ago. A little effort, a little too late. But the attention is good for the ol' ego...
The Gruen has messaged and/or called every day. He told me last night he resigned from his job, giving six weeks notice. The suspicious side of me wonders whether, if he IS lying as I suspect he is, this is his way of righting the lies he's told about what he does without getting caught. This way, he can say in 6 weeks time that he's got a new job at XYZ company where he currently is... Maybe I'm just being super paranoid now. We're doing something on the weekend, although he hasn't told me what it is - I think its meant to be a surprise. I do know it involves art and that it wont require much effort seems I've already told him I'm still not well and don't want to be galloping around the place feeling like this. I guess it's a sign of the fact he does really want to see me if he's willing to get sick in order to see me.
Being at home all day yesterday gave me some time to search the internet dating site (procrastinating from study, just like I'm doing right now...).
I talked to the guy I was talking to before I started seeing Gruen and the X Factor - lets call him AA. We might be meeting up next week... I'll keep you posted.
I talked to a few freaks.
I talked to a security officer who I have the hots for, big time. For someone so attractive, he's actually really nice.
I talked to a sci fi convention loving, public servant by day, swinger by night. Who said public servants are boring?? He also tells me that he has a big wang - 8 to 9 inches long and very thick but to look at him, he's like a stick... It seems almost like it would be disproportionate to the rest of him LOL
He offered to take me to a swingers club sometime... I told him that its really probably not my scene but he tells me if I don't want to play, that I can just watch... I told him I'll keep it in mind....
Tempting... if I went with him the swingers club, at least I'd see for myself about his wang... haha
Don't worry, I promise if I go, I'll blog about it [insert mischievous grin here]
They do say that curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back again...
The X Factor has been sweet, sending me text messages to see how I am. I only wish I'd received this much attention from him when we were in a relationship 5 years ago. A little effort, a little too late. But the attention is good for the ol' ego...
The Gruen has messaged and/or called every day. He told me last night he resigned from his job, giving six weeks notice. The suspicious side of me wonders whether, if he IS lying as I suspect he is, this is his way of righting the lies he's told about what he does without getting caught. This way, he can say in 6 weeks time that he's got a new job at XYZ company where he currently is... Maybe I'm just being super paranoid now. We're doing something on the weekend, although he hasn't told me what it is - I think its meant to be a surprise. I do know it involves art and that it wont require much effort seems I've already told him I'm still not well and don't want to be galloping around the place feeling like this. I guess it's a sign of the fact he does really want to see me if he's willing to get sick in order to see me.
Being at home all day yesterday gave me some time to search the internet dating site (procrastinating from study, just like I'm doing right now...).
I talked to the guy I was talking to before I started seeing Gruen and the X Factor - lets call him AA. We might be meeting up next week... I'll keep you posted.
I talked to a few freaks.
I talked to a security officer who I have the hots for, big time. For someone so attractive, he's actually really nice.
I talked to a sci fi convention loving, public servant by day, swinger by night. Who said public servants are boring?? He also tells me that he has a big wang - 8 to 9 inches long and very thick but to look at him, he's like a stick... It seems almost like it would be disproportionate to the rest of him LOL
He offered to take me to a swingers club sometime... I told him that its really probably not my scene but he tells me if I don't want to play, that I can just watch... I told him I'll keep it in mind....
Tempting... if I went with him the swingers club, at least I'd see for myself about his wang... haha
Don't worry, I promise if I go, I'll blog about it [insert mischievous grin here]
They do say that curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back again...
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Suspicious Minds
In previous blogs, I've said I dont trust Gruen. I still dont. I want to document here my suspicions because I know that there have been things from the beginning I just don't trust but I've now forgotten.
He says he's some big shot marketing exec who has worked on billion dollar campaigns of at least two very big companies and that when he left his job in the US, they had over 700 applicants. I'd expect that someone who is so hot shot would surely be able to get a hit on Google. Yet, when I google his full name with a whole heap of different terms that you'd think would pull something up, I get nothing. I've searched for him on Facebook but without being able to narrow it down to age group, its almost impossible to search through the over 500 hits I got matching his name. I even looked in the whitepages, but the only person with his surname and initial lives at Highgate Hill, not the city, and looking at the building on Google Earth it doesn't look very flash. I even googled his mobile phone number and looked searched for him on www.pipl.com (a stalkers paradise by the way - its worth going on there just to search for your own name and email addy).
He also says he lives in a four bedroom (3 bedroom, 1 study) apartment in the city... by himself. I googled the place he says he lives at and there doesn't appear to be any 4 bedroom apartments there, so short of ringing them to confirm, it looks pretty suss...
He was apparently in Sydney yesterday afternoon and apparently came back last night. When I asked him where he was staying last night, at first he said it was behind XYZ Hotel (name removed purposely) but that he'd have to get up to check how to spell it. He did eventually send me the name, and according to Google Earth, it isn't entirely behind that Hotel, its about 2 streets away, but I guess given they're both highrises you could be forgiven for saying that its behind that hotel.
He then said that he was down there at a data centre fixing it or something. Now, if he was in IT, I'd believe him. I asked him what social media has to do with fixing a data centre to which he replied that he owned his own hosting business for 6 years so he knows how this stuff works and that it saves the company $6k. Hmmm believable? I guess so. But if he's on the kinda money he makes out he is in the marketing field, I find it hard to believe that, given he's only 30, he could've feasibly owned a hosting business for 6 yrs and become such a hot shot in the marketing area by the time he's 30. Sure its possible but.... I dont know, there's just something that doesn't seem right.
When I google his name, all that comes up is some footy guy (definitely not him), and some IT stuff... its possible of course that perhaps everything he's said is the truth except the fact he doesn't actually work in marketing - he could just work in IT, but that seems like a rather stupid lie really.
He wants a sleep over on Sunday night, although I've clarified with him that if I stayed, our clothes would remain on. On the one hand it'd be handy because perhaps if I saw where he lived then this would cross one of my suspicions off the list, but on the other hand, if he kisses me, I'm not sure how well I'd go keeping the clothes on... suspicions or no suspicions...
He says he's some big shot marketing exec who has worked on billion dollar campaigns of at least two very big companies and that when he left his job in the US, they had over 700 applicants. I'd expect that someone who is so hot shot would surely be able to get a hit on Google. Yet, when I google his full name with a whole heap of different terms that you'd think would pull something up, I get nothing. I've searched for him on Facebook but without being able to narrow it down to age group, its almost impossible to search through the over 500 hits I got matching his name. I even looked in the whitepages, but the only person with his surname and initial lives at Highgate Hill, not the city, and looking at the building on Google Earth it doesn't look very flash. I even googled his mobile phone number and looked searched for him on www.pipl.com (a stalkers paradise by the way - its worth going on there just to search for your own name and email addy).
He also says he lives in a four bedroom (3 bedroom, 1 study) apartment in the city... by himself. I googled the place he says he lives at and there doesn't appear to be any 4 bedroom apartments there, so short of ringing them to confirm, it looks pretty suss...
He was apparently in Sydney yesterday afternoon and apparently came back last night. When I asked him where he was staying last night, at first he said it was behind XYZ Hotel (name removed purposely) but that he'd have to get up to check how to spell it. He did eventually send me the name, and according to Google Earth, it isn't entirely behind that Hotel, its about 2 streets away, but I guess given they're both highrises you could be forgiven for saying that its behind that hotel.
He then said that he was down there at a data centre fixing it or something. Now, if he was in IT, I'd believe him. I asked him what social media has to do with fixing a data centre to which he replied that he owned his own hosting business for 6 years so he knows how this stuff works and that it saves the company $6k. Hmmm believable? I guess so. But if he's on the kinda money he makes out he is in the marketing field, I find it hard to believe that, given he's only 30, he could've feasibly owned a hosting business for 6 yrs and become such a hot shot in the marketing area by the time he's 30. Sure its possible but.... I dont know, there's just something that doesn't seem right.
When I google his name, all that comes up is some footy guy (definitely not him), and some IT stuff... its possible of course that perhaps everything he's said is the truth except the fact he doesn't actually work in marketing - he could just work in IT, but that seems like a rather stupid lie really.
He wants a sleep over on Sunday night, although I've clarified with him that if I stayed, our clothes would remain on. On the one hand it'd be handy because perhaps if I saw where he lived then this would cross one of my suspicions off the list, but on the other hand, if he kisses me, I'm not sure how well I'd go keeping the clothes on... suspicions or no suspicions...
Monday, February 22, 2010
Another Gruen update
Gruen kissed me tonight. There's two kinds of kisses: the ones that you can feel only on your lips as their lips touch yours, and then there's the kisses that you can feel through every inch of your body, the ones that make you want more. Gruen's were the second kind, which surprised me.
There was no mistaking his intentions tonight either. He was very clear: his words were "I don't want to share you" and he used the forbidden C word - commitment. Somewhere in there were the words long-term which was followed very closely with the forbidden R word - relationship. I don't understand why its so important for some people to label these things - isn't it better to kind of just wake up one day and go, "wow I dont want to be with anyone else, this is the person I want to be with" instead of having to label it and say "from now on, we shall be boyfriend and girlfriend and there will be no others"? Enough with the pressure already! Of course I mean no offense to anyone who needs to label things, I just don't think its for me.
It also bothers me when I meet a man and he's quick to jump into a relationship with me. The hopeful part of me thinks "wow he must really like me" but the cynical, or realist part of me thinks "why is he so keen for a relationship? why is he so desperate?". I don't mean this at all in a demeaning way toward me but one really does have to ask themselves why someone would be so quick to jump into any relationship.
I do stick by what I said at the beginning when I first met him: he'd be excellent to do the fun stuff with. We talked tonight about picking two days each month and on one day I pick something different to do, and on the other he picks something different. We won't know what the other has planned until we're there, it can't cost very much and we can't do the same thing again for three months (I take it this means if we are still talking in three months?!). I love surprises and if it actually happens, I think this is something I'll definitely enjoy a lot. Mind you, I might need to put my thinking cap on for things to do, although I already have a few things I was going to do anyway by myself or with other friends...
I did enjoy tonight too. We went to a place with a couch, ordered a drink and some food, and just sat there, in the dull light, ate, drank, chatted and just was just there. It was nice not to feel like I had to fill the silence with words, which anyone who knows me knows I'm inclined to do. Mind you, it could very well have been because I'm sick...
I've told him that we should just see where things end up, that the "no expectations, no disappointments" motto has worked well for me in the past (Thanks Becker!). I'm hoping that I can put him off for a few more weeks, a few more dates, just to first of all make sure he is who he says he is.
Which reminds me, he did tell me where he works tonight, but now in the midst of everything I've forgotten. If I'm feeling better on Wednesday night, he wants to see me again, and after that kiss tonight, I'm powerless to say no.
Being a Grey's Anatomy fan, I'm reminded of this quote:
A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.
Now, if I can put him off for a little while longer, maybe I'll be ready to know.
There was no mistaking his intentions tonight either. He was very clear: his words were "I don't want to share you" and he used the forbidden C word - commitment. Somewhere in there were the words long-term which was followed very closely with the forbidden R word - relationship. I don't understand why its so important for some people to label these things - isn't it better to kind of just wake up one day and go, "wow I dont want to be with anyone else, this is the person I want to be with" instead of having to label it and say "from now on, we shall be boyfriend and girlfriend and there will be no others"? Enough with the pressure already! Of course I mean no offense to anyone who needs to label things, I just don't think its for me.
It also bothers me when I meet a man and he's quick to jump into a relationship with me. The hopeful part of me thinks "wow he must really like me" but the cynical, or realist part of me thinks "why is he so keen for a relationship? why is he so desperate?". I don't mean this at all in a demeaning way toward me but one really does have to ask themselves why someone would be so quick to jump into any relationship.
I do stick by what I said at the beginning when I first met him: he'd be excellent to do the fun stuff with. We talked tonight about picking two days each month and on one day I pick something different to do, and on the other he picks something different. We won't know what the other has planned until we're there, it can't cost very much and we can't do the same thing again for three months (I take it this means if we are still talking in three months?!). I love surprises and if it actually happens, I think this is something I'll definitely enjoy a lot. Mind you, I might need to put my thinking cap on for things to do, although I already have a few things I was going to do anyway by myself or with other friends...
I did enjoy tonight too. We went to a place with a couch, ordered a drink and some food, and just sat there, in the dull light, ate, drank, chatted and just was just there. It was nice not to feel like I had to fill the silence with words, which anyone who knows me knows I'm inclined to do. Mind you, it could very well have been because I'm sick...
I've told him that we should just see where things end up, that the "no expectations, no disappointments" motto has worked well for me in the past (Thanks Becker!). I'm hoping that I can put him off for a few more weeks, a few more dates, just to first of all make sure he is who he says he is.
Which reminds me, he did tell me where he works tonight, but now in the midst of everything I've forgotten. If I'm feeling better on Wednesday night, he wants to see me again, and after that kiss tonight, I'm powerless to say no.
Being a Grey's Anatomy fan, I'm reminded of this quote:
A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.
Now, if I can put him off for a little while longer, maybe I'll be ready to know.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Gruen
So Gruen and I just had a chat. He's looking for something serious. I'm not sure how I feel about that. This is all meant to be fun. I don't think I want something serious. But if he's telling the truth about who he is... then maybe it would be OK. But do I want to give up the fun and excitement of all this so quickly?
And I found out his last name tonight, but not where he works. His parents are teachers, I found that out though. And his middle name is Jon. But not where he works... that'll be another conversation I think.
I think I really do need to hurry up and somehow find out if he's telling the truth about who he is.
And I found out his last name tonight, but not where he works. His parents are teachers, I found that out though. And his middle name is Jon. But not where he works... that'll be another conversation I think.
I think I really do need to hurry up and somehow find out if he's telling the truth about who he is.
That's so cute!
X Factor has already changed his relationship status on Facebook.
And he's invited me to his house tomorrow night. His parents won't be home, but this is more than I ever got when we were in a relationship?
Odd.
And he's invited me to his house tomorrow night. His parents won't be home, but this is more than I ever got when we were in a relationship?
Odd.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Breaky with Gruen
I had breakfast with Gruen this morning. I got a message from him afterwards to say thanks and that he was looking forward to tonight.
We were meant to have dinner/drinks/movies tonight, but he messaged me late morning saying his brother was sick and had to go to the hospital and would let me know about dinner/drinks/movies. An hour before we'd originally organised to meet up, I hadn't heard from him and so I messaged him to ask how his brother was - he apologised and said he'd call me after 7pm.
Its now almost 9.30pm and I am less than impressed.
We talked this morning about me going into the city to meet him after work tomorrow night. I'm not going to chase him up.
I will not chase him up over this.
We were meant to have dinner/drinks/movies tonight, but he messaged me late morning saying his brother was sick and had to go to the hospital and would let me know about dinner/drinks/movies. An hour before we'd originally organised to meet up, I hadn't heard from him and so I messaged him to ask how his brother was - he apologised and said he'd call me after 7pm.
Its now almost 9.30pm and I am less than impressed.
We talked this morning about me going into the city to meet him after work tomorrow night. I'm not going to chase him up.
I will not chase him up over this.
Extra, Extra: X Factor cleared of all allegations...
X Factor was over last night - I asked him about his last relationship and he said it ended at the end of last year. I asked him about the Facebook relationship status and he was very apologetic that I'd seen it and thought that something was going on. He says that his ex girlfriend set his Facebook up for him, and that he's really only been on it once or twice and he'll have to get back on and work out how to change his relationship status. My gut says that he is telling the truth - I'm going to go with that.
He stayed the night - I enjoy sleeping beside him: he doesn't snore or hog the bed or sheets, and he is happy to hold me while we sleep. Its really nice.
I will be seeing him again.
He stayed the night - I enjoy sleeping beside him: he doesn't snore or hog the bed or sheets, and he is happy to hold me while we sleep. Its really nice.
I will be seeing him again.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Gruen update
Gruen called me last night - we had a good chat. He wanted to know if I'd like to have breakfast with him on Friday. I'm undecided whether its a good idea - we're already meant to be having dinner and seeing a movie on Friday night... What do you think? Breakfast AND dinner all in one day????
I had coffee with him too today. Not much to report - we had a good conversation and half an hour was gone before we knew it.
Guess I need to make a decision about breakfast... any ideas?
I had coffee with him too today. Not much to report - we had a good conversation and half an hour was gone before we knew it.
Guess I need to make a decision about breakfast... any ideas?
X Factor status update
I feel like a detective sometimes, having to investigate things.
Last night I was talking to a friend in her car about the X Factor and she asked what he looked like. I started to describe him, and then wondered whether he'd be on Facebook to show her a photo from there. I did a search for him on Facebook Mobile and I find his profile.
I discover from his profile that he is supposed to be in a relationship! Without sounding too much like a stalker, I checked his profile to discover that his relationship status changed somewhere between 25 November and 2 January. This is interesting information. To his defence, it looks like he really doesn't use Facebook much but it does call into question whether he is in a relationship or not.
Although the temptation is strong to call him and confront him about it, I've decided on what I believe to be a far superior approach. If I call and confront him, logically he'll probably deny it and I really won't know for sure unless I email the girl herself (which of course I'm reluctant to do).
We were meant to have dinner tonight but thanks to QR's delay in me getting home and him running late, I decided it would be too late by the time he got here. We're seeing each other tomorrow instead.
Tomorrow, I'll steer the conversation around to our last relationship and get him to say when it was. If he says something that fits with my discovery on Facebook (ie we just broke up a couple weeks ago etc), I'll probably mention adding him on Facebook to see his reaction. If he says something that doesn't fit (ie i haven't had a relationship in six months), then I'll call him on his bull shit and send him on his way. I might be many things, but I'm definitely not the 'other woman'.
Its quite simple really, lull him into a false sense of security and then when I have him trapped, only then will I show my cards.
Information isn't everything, its how you use it.
Last night I was talking to a friend in her car about the X Factor and she asked what he looked like. I started to describe him, and then wondered whether he'd be on Facebook to show her a photo from there. I did a search for him on Facebook Mobile and I find his profile.
I discover from his profile that he is supposed to be in a relationship! Without sounding too much like a stalker, I checked his profile to discover that his relationship status changed somewhere between 25 November and 2 January. This is interesting information. To his defence, it looks like he really doesn't use Facebook much but it does call into question whether he is in a relationship or not.
Although the temptation is strong to call him and confront him about it, I've decided on what I believe to be a far superior approach. If I call and confront him, logically he'll probably deny it and I really won't know for sure unless I email the girl herself (which of course I'm reluctant to do).
We were meant to have dinner tonight but thanks to QR's delay in me getting home and him running late, I decided it would be too late by the time he got here. We're seeing each other tomorrow instead.
Tomorrow, I'll steer the conversation around to our last relationship and get him to say when it was. If he says something that fits with my discovery on Facebook (ie we just broke up a couple weeks ago etc), I'll probably mention adding him on Facebook to see his reaction. If he says something that doesn't fit (ie i haven't had a relationship in six months), then I'll call him on his bull shit and send him on his way. I might be many things, but I'm definitely not the 'other woman'.
Its quite simple really, lull him into a false sense of security and then when I have him trapped, only then will I show my cards.
Information isn't everything, its how you use it.
Monday, February 15, 2010
The X Factor
On the same day that I met Gruen for coffee, I got a text message from a number not in my phone asking if this was still my number. Turns out, it was an ex I originally met 5 years ago. We got as far as the three month itch before realising we weren't compatible. Because we hadn't sufficiently hurt each other the first time around, after we bumped into each other in a random club that neither of us used to go to a couple years or more ago, we decided to give it another go. That lasted only a month or two before things turned ugly and we went our separate ways.
Needless to say, I was rather surprised to be getting a text message from him at all after the ugliness of the break up. Turns out he was working on the new building opposite where I work and he saw me almost every lunch break, a couple of times I was less than a metre away from him but he never said a word to me because I apparently looked annoyed or angry and he assumed that I'd deliberately ignored him (this little nugget gets filed away for future reference - may be the reason men never approach me in Brisbane???). The long and short of it was that he managed to find my number written down in his room after months of searching (I'm a little afraid to see the state of the room?) and contacted me.
We had dinner that night as a last minute thing and were surprised to realise that this was actually the first time we had ever gone out to dinner together as our relationship was usually always confined to the couch watching a movie, or in the bedroom. It was actually really nice to just sit there and chat and he seemed much more mature than I remembered him, and has also completed his apprenticeship now so he's a fully qualified sparky these days. He drove me home even though he lives on the other side of the city and we had the biggest snog in the car when we got back to where my car was parked. It was like being 16 again... seriously... it went on for fifteen or twenty minutes and even had a bit of booby grabbing in there. Haven't had action just like that in years!
Like Gruen, he too sent a text message when he got home saying he'd enjoyed dinner. This only further supports my theory that some men have clued onto how women think and might be using it to their advantage.
On Friday night last week, I finished work early and rang Gruen on the off chance he was free to hang out. He wasn't, so I contacted the X factor and he decided to come over, but only on the provision that if he stayed there would be nothing in it for him. He agreed. Of course, while the X Factor was on his way over, Gruen rang me back and had decided he'd rather hang out with me and was going to change his plans.
That was a little awkward...
I see the Gruen as someone I could go out for dinner with, who I can do more fun things with, be a bit spontaneous with, someone who (if he is telling the truth about who he is) could keep me on my toes and keep me interested enough. I see the X factor as someone who I can cuddle up with at night (I had forgotten how much better he was at that than others), and maybe even get a little nooky from.
The REAL challenge is going to be how to juggle them both, and any others I meet along the way, without them finding out about each other. When I work two jobs, study part time, have volunteer work, socialise with friends AND try and date its no surprise that I'm going to be kept on my toes and will have to be VERY careful in making sure that they never know about each other.
I'm definitely up for the challenge.
Needless to say, I was rather surprised to be getting a text message from him at all after the ugliness of the break up. Turns out he was working on the new building opposite where I work and he saw me almost every lunch break, a couple of times I was less than a metre away from him but he never said a word to me because I apparently looked annoyed or angry and he assumed that I'd deliberately ignored him (this little nugget gets filed away for future reference - may be the reason men never approach me in Brisbane???). The long and short of it was that he managed to find my number written down in his room after months of searching (I'm a little afraid to see the state of the room?) and contacted me.
We had dinner that night as a last minute thing and were surprised to realise that this was actually the first time we had ever gone out to dinner together as our relationship was usually always confined to the couch watching a movie, or in the bedroom. It was actually really nice to just sit there and chat and he seemed much more mature than I remembered him, and has also completed his apprenticeship now so he's a fully qualified sparky these days. He drove me home even though he lives on the other side of the city and we had the biggest snog in the car when we got back to where my car was parked. It was like being 16 again... seriously... it went on for fifteen or twenty minutes and even had a bit of booby grabbing in there. Haven't had action just like that in years!
Like Gruen, he too sent a text message when he got home saying he'd enjoyed dinner. This only further supports my theory that some men have clued onto how women think and might be using it to their advantage.
On Friday night last week, I finished work early and rang Gruen on the off chance he was free to hang out. He wasn't, so I contacted the X factor and he decided to come over, but only on the provision that if he stayed there would be nothing in it for him. He agreed. Of course, while the X Factor was on his way over, Gruen rang me back and had decided he'd rather hang out with me and was going to change his plans.
That was a little awkward...
I see the Gruen as someone I could go out for dinner with, who I can do more fun things with, be a bit spontaneous with, someone who (if he is telling the truth about who he is) could keep me on my toes and keep me interested enough. I see the X factor as someone who I can cuddle up with at night (I had forgotten how much better he was at that than others), and maybe even get a little nooky from.
The REAL challenge is going to be how to juggle them both, and any others I meet along the way, without them finding out about each other. When I work two jobs, study part time, have volunteer work, socialise with friends AND try and date its no surprise that I'm going to be kept on my toes and will have to be VERY careful in making sure that they never know about each other.
I'm definitely up for the challenge.
The Escapee and the Gruen
So far, I've been on two dates. The first was a guy who lives two suburbs over from me. We met up for a quick coffee two Thursday nights ago. He looked similar to his photos which was definitely a bonus, however I was most unimpressed when he spent the whole time sending text messages to someone else. I suggested most politely that if he had an emergency or somewhere else he needed to be we could continue this some other time (ie - here's your escape route if you want to take it) but he didn't take the bait. In the end I used MY escape route (thanks L!!!) and left. Clearly the disinterest was mutual because I haven't heard from him since. I've chalked it down to experience and in some ways I'm thankful I got a dry run with someone I hadn't invested much time in.
Now, onto the second date I had. To protect the innocent (and the guilty!), I've renamed the second date "Gruen" and I suspect that I'll be writing about him for a couple of blogs to come. Gruen tells me he's 30, and a professional who seems to have travelled to a few different places in the world, and lived for a while in at least two other countries so far. He seems to be a bit of a jetsetter on an incredible amount of money, or so he makes out. Our first 'date' or 'meet up' went well. We had a good chat and the time seemed to fly. He kissed me on the cheek at the end of the date (tick), and asked if I was free on the weekend because he'd like to see me again. Immediate interest = another tick. By the time I got upstairs, I'd received another text message to confirm he'd enjoyed coffee and that he'd definitely like to see me again. Bigger tick. So far, he's maintained interest daily just messaging me to say hi or see how my day is going = another tick. However, I'm beginning to get more than a little suspicious about whether or not he is who he says he is. I can't help but put the "Detective" cap on and question what he tells me. I'm of the firm belief that if something seems too good to be true, then it probably is. I really hope that he is telling the truth, because what would be really sad is if he was making the whole 'jetsetting' gig up to impress me when in reality, if he'd just been himself I might have just liked him for that. Only time will tell but in the meantime, I'm sitting back enjoying being Bella Detective...
Apart from the suspicions I have about whether he is who he says he is, he does seem to be doing and saying all the 'right things' from a dating perspective... you know, showing interest, being interested in what I'm saying etc etc etc. And I guess this makes me more than a little suspicious. Well before the book and the movie came out, my philosophy had always been, if he's interested he'll call/text/show interest. If he doesn't, he just isn't that into you. And I wonder whether, as a result of the book and movie, whether we might end up with this rare breed of man who wants to capture a market of women who feel empowered by measuring interest on these things. For years, women have made excuses for men when they've been disinterested (he's tired, busy, his dog ate his computer/phone/form of communication) instead of realising the cold hard truth of life: he really just wasn't that interested and I bet if you went back and looked at things with an impartial eye, you'd be able to pinpoint the moment in time it started to become that way, and realise the excuse that you made for him. But what can a woman do in the new world where women are seemingly well versed in "He's just not that into you"? How can a woman know whether a man really is that interested in her, or whether he's exploiting these women who mentally tick off the boxes that the book and movie tell them to tick off?
But, as they say, give them enough rope, and they'll hang themselves... though I can't help but wonder, what will Gruen do?
Now, onto the second date I had. To protect the innocent (and the guilty!), I've renamed the second date "Gruen" and I suspect that I'll be writing about him for a couple of blogs to come. Gruen tells me he's 30, and a professional who seems to have travelled to a few different places in the world, and lived for a while in at least two other countries so far. He seems to be a bit of a jetsetter on an incredible amount of money, or so he makes out. Our first 'date' or 'meet up' went well. We had a good chat and the time seemed to fly. He kissed me on the cheek at the end of the date (tick), and asked if I was free on the weekend because he'd like to see me again. Immediate interest = another tick. By the time I got upstairs, I'd received another text message to confirm he'd enjoyed coffee and that he'd definitely like to see me again. Bigger tick. So far, he's maintained interest daily just messaging me to say hi or see how my day is going = another tick. However, I'm beginning to get more than a little suspicious about whether or not he is who he says he is. I can't help but put the "Detective" cap on and question what he tells me. I'm of the firm belief that if something seems too good to be true, then it probably is. I really hope that he is telling the truth, because what would be really sad is if he was making the whole 'jetsetting' gig up to impress me when in reality, if he'd just been himself I might have just liked him for that. Only time will tell but in the meantime, I'm sitting back enjoying being Bella Detective...
Apart from the suspicions I have about whether he is who he says he is, he does seem to be doing and saying all the 'right things' from a dating perspective... you know, showing interest, being interested in what I'm saying etc etc etc. And I guess this makes me more than a little suspicious. Well before the book and the movie came out, my philosophy had always been, if he's interested he'll call/text/show interest. If he doesn't, he just isn't that into you. And I wonder whether, as a result of the book and movie, whether we might end up with this rare breed of man who wants to capture a market of women who feel empowered by measuring interest on these things. For years, women have made excuses for men when they've been disinterested (he's tired, busy, his dog ate his computer/phone/form of communication) instead of realising the cold hard truth of life: he really just wasn't that interested and I bet if you went back and looked at things with an impartial eye, you'd be able to pinpoint the moment in time it started to become that way, and realise the excuse that you made for him. But what can a woman do in the new world where women are seemingly well versed in "He's just not that into you"? How can a woman know whether a man really is that interested in her, or whether he's exploiting these women who mentally tick off the boxes that the book and movie tell them to tick off?
But, as they say, give them enough rope, and they'll hang themselves... though I can't help but wonder, what will Gruen do?
Internet Dating
Welcome to my very first blog. As some of you would know, I have started internet dating as a bit of a social experiment. A friend of mine believes that there are quality men to be found online, men who are busy professionals who just don't have time to meet women through the ordinary channels. Now, I am not entirely convinced that this is true, but being the true Sagittarius that I am, I decided it was worth the adventure to find out.
The internet dating world is actually really interesting - first you spend all this time trying to figure out how to describe yourself, even asking others how they'd describe you, checking out the 'competition' to see what they are writing about themselves, deciding what photos to display. And then, well you find out that most men don't actually READ your profile. In fact, I dont recall speaking to a single man who actually had! When it came to a photo, I decided some experimentation was in order and changed the profile pic over a few days, trying out my favourite three photos. Now, here's the really interesting thing: the photo that seems to have attracted the most interest from men is actually the photo with the least make up. In fact, I barely got any interest from men with the other two photos that I'd put up.
At first there seemed like an incredible amount of men, which means an incredible amount of choice so here's what I've been screening out:
What I'm really looking for is this: what makes you different to the other men on here? What is so good about you that makes it so compelling that will make me really want to get to know you?
The internet dating world is actually really interesting - first you spend all this time trying to figure out how to describe yourself, even asking others how they'd describe you, checking out the 'competition' to see what they are writing about themselves, deciding what photos to display. And then, well you find out that most men don't actually READ your profile. In fact, I dont recall speaking to a single man who actually had! When it came to a photo, I decided some experimentation was in order and changed the profile pic over a few days, trying out my favourite three photos. Now, here's the really interesting thing: the photo that seems to have attracted the most interest from men is actually the photo with the least make up. In fact, I barely got any interest from men with the other two photos that I'd put up.
At first there seemed like an incredible amount of men, which means an incredible amount of choice so here's what I've been screening out:
- Single dads (nothing against them, but right now, I'm at a point in my life where I'm just not willing to play second fiddle from the very beginning to someone else's child);
- The very obviously desperate;
- Profiles with very little information in them;
- Profiles with photos that don't look like much thought has been put into them;
- Profiles with cliches (looking for that 'lucky lady', the special someone, walking on the beach blah blah blah)
- Profiles where they've uploaded photos of them with a 'niece' or 'nephew' or brother's girlfriend's cousin's aunt's dog's sister's cousin's daughter's step child - clearly a clever tactic
- Men who look like they've got little substance other than the usual boy stuff
What I'm really looking for is this: what makes you different to the other men on here? What is so good about you that makes it so compelling that will make me really want to get to know you?
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