This morning my Sydney Boy came home from work, and crawled into bed beside me and cuddled up to me. I wish that was every day. Actually, I wish that he was here beside me every night to go to sleep, and beside me every morning when I wake up. I know that the time will come, but there's just something about him that makes me want and need to be with him now.
We went for lunch at Coogee today before going to the airport. I wish we had more time together, just more time... more time for more hugs... more time for more of his kisses...
And now there are 12 sleeps until I see him again. In 12 sleeps, he'll be here for my going away party. And when he goes home the next day, there will only be 2 sleeps before I see him. And after that, I'll never have to wait 12 sleeps to see him again. Thank god. I miss him so much when he's not here. I miss him already and I just want the 12 sleeps to fly past so I can be with him again. Seeing him on webcam, hearing his voice, looking at our photos, and reading my blog about him makes him feel so out of reach. So close, yet so far. Similarly, 12 sleeps feels so close, yet so far...
Monday, April 26, 2010
I don't wanna miss a thing
I really should blog more about my Sydney Boy. Every time I go back and read my posts about him, my heart swells with happiness. I don't want to miss a thing so that I can re-read tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, forever how happy he is making me, I don't want to forget these moments. Even though I know there will be more, I don't want to forget the ones that are passed.
Last weekend we went to Seaworld and added to our good times, good memories and photos. It was hard when he left, even though I knew there were only 5 sleeps til I saw him again, my bed felt empty without him. On Monday night, I kept waking up through the night every time I went to cuddle up with him and I felt disappointed when I remembered he had gone home.
All week, I counted the sleeps knowing that I would be seeing him soon. I couldn't wait to get off the plane to see him. Once again, he had gone out of his way to make our time together special. He took me to dinner at the Sydney Rowing Club. The idea had been that we would have dinner while the sun set over the water. Unfortunately for us, weather wasn't on our side as it had been raining and was almost dark by the time we got there anyway. We ended up sitting inside for dinner, but to be honest, I didn't care, we could've been anywhere... Being with him is an incredible feeling.
After dinner, he took me ice skating for the very first time. It was good fun (although scary for me!!!!) and probably a good exercise of trust as I let go of the rail and held onto him trusting him that I wouldn't fall on my ass (which I didn't - YAY for me!). I'd like to go again at some point and keep going until I can let go of both his hand and the rail and skate one whole lap on my own.
You'd think that dinner and ice-skating would equal a good evening right? Well not for my Sydney Boy... he then took me to Pancakes on the Rocks for dessert. What a man, and what a great evening.
Yesterday he took me to the Parklea Markets in the morning before having a sleep before he went to work. (PS will definitely be going back there to build up my handbag collection after I move... ;) hehe)
He took me to Hogs Breath for dinner last night, and then to Max Brenner for dessert. I really feel like a princess when I'm with him and I don't wanna miss a thing.
Last weekend we went to Seaworld and added to our good times, good memories and photos. It was hard when he left, even though I knew there were only 5 sleeps til I saw him again, my bed felt empty without him. On Monday night, I kept waking up through the night every time I went to cuddle up with him and I felt disappointed when I remembered he had gone home.
All week, I counted the sleeps knowing that I would be seeing him soon. I couldn't wait to get off the plane to see him. Once again, he had gone out of his way to make our time together special. He took me to dinner at the Sydney Rowing Club. The idea had been that we would have dinner while the sun set over the water. Unfortunately for us, weather wasn't on our side as it had been raining and was almost dark by the time we got there anyway. We ended up sitting inside for dinner, but to be honest, I didn't care, we could've been anywhere... Being with him is an incredible feeling.
After dinner, he took me ice skating for the very first time. It was good fun (although scary for me!!!!) and probably a good exercise of trust as I let go of the rail and held onto him trusting him that I wouldn't fall on my ass (which I didn't - YAY for me!). I'd like to go again at some point and keep going until I can let go of both his hand and the rail and skate one whole lap on my own.
You'd think that dinner and ice-skating would equal a good evening right? Well not for my Sydney Boy... he then took me to Pancakes on the Rocks for dessert. What a man, and what a great evening.
Yesterday he took me to the Parklea Markets in the morning before having a sleep before he went to work. (PS will definitely be going back there to build up my handbag collection after I move... ;) hehe)
He took me to Hogs Breath for dinner last night, and then to Max Brenner for dessert. I really feel like a princess when I'm with him and I don't wanna miss a thing.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Must've been the way you kissed me...
I am sitting here with just one sleep standing between my Sydney Boy and I... Tomorrow is going to drag, I just know it.
I can't wait to see him. I can't wait to have his arms around me. I can't wait to kiss him, to feel his lips on mine. I can't wait for him to touch me. I can't wait to just have him face to face with me, in real life not pixels on my laptop. I can't wait for his loving. I can't wait to snuggle into my nook and go to sleep beside him, skin to skin.
I have those butterflies again. I like them. I hope they never go away.
I want him so much, and this time tomorrow night he'll be right here in my bed beside me... just where he belongs.
He is mine. I am his. Forever. I hope.
I can't wait to see him. I can't wait to have his arms around me. I can't wait to kiss him, to feel his lips on mine. I can't wait for him to touch me. I can't wait to just have him face to face with me, in real life not pixels on my laptop. I can't wait for his loving. I can't wait to snuggle into my nook and go to sleep beside him, skin to skin.
I have those butterflies again. I like them. I hope they never go away.
I want him so much, and this time tomorrow night he'll be right here in my bed beside me... just where he belongs.
He is mine. I am his. Forever. I hope.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
What a crazy few days - a vent from me!
I've had a crazy few stressful days and as a result, my perception on things have been a little outta wack.
I had an assignment for uni due on Friday so I was a little stressed toward the end of last week trying to get the assignment written. I also had an assignment due yesterday so I was stressed out all weekend trying to get my head around the poorly worded assignment question.
I'm also feeling stressed because I'm so unhappy with work. I'm unhappy with the people I work with and I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've almost wanted to resign on the spot this week so far (and its only Tuesday!!!). Its to the point now where I have actually felt sick every morning before work. Before you go off spreading rumours about pregnancies, its definitely not that. Its anxiety and I've had it before. Apparently when you stress, your stomach creates excess acid and this is what makes you feel sick. I know things aren't really *that* bad and the things that are bothering me happen in every office, but I'm just so over the same shit day in and day out, it'd be good to just be dealing with the same shit but with different people for a change. I couldn't sleep last night and it wouldn't surprise me if this is related.
I'm also probably over-tired and probably a little hormonal which certainly hasn't helped the situation.
Of course, in addition to this my lower back feels like it's out because its tight and sore (and therefore it restricts my movement), and my knees have been sore too... I've also been getting a sore tummy, the kind of sore tummy you sometimes get when you're mid-cycle, and its really uncomfortable. And I'm sure that these are all just physical manifestations of me stressing.
I've also got the wheels in motion to move to Sydney to be with my Sydney Boy. Nothing in concrete to speak of just yet, but chances are it could be happening really soon. I know that I can do this, and the challenge and adventure excites me. All things considered, the whole moving thing is pretty low risk. But at the same time, even though I know this, the change is also scary and its taking a massive leap into the unknown. I keep reminding myself that its low risk, that its not that big of a deal and have been feeling frustrated with myself for feeling like this. I went to a work breakfast this morning and one of the speakers talked about how she moved from Brisbane to Canberra and how big of an adjustment it was, how big and scary moving to another state was, and I realised, that there's nothing wrong with feeling apprehensive about moving because it is a big change, and lets face it, change can be scary even when its exciting! But of course, because of all this other stuff going on in the background, my perception and perspective on things is a little wonky...
Finally, as a result of all of this, I've been feeling so insecure about my Sydney Boy, and its definitely not warranted. The frustrating thing is that I know at the time I'm being stupid and irrational, but yet I get anxious anyway. As the Pink song goes... "its bad when you annoy yourself... I'm my own worst enemy" that's exactly how I've been feeling.
I also wonder whether it hasn't helped that I havent been eating as well as I have been so far this year, and I haven't managed to get much exercise in either. I was hoping to go for a jog tonight to see if that helped any, but by the time I got home tonight it was dark. I was planning to use the Wii Fit to at least do some yoga to release some of this tension from my muscles etc, only to discover that in the power surge the other night, the stupid bloody thing has shit itself. Yes, you can imagine how annoyed I was about that!!!
I know the feeling will pass, probably when I am not so tired and when I can manage to just get a little more perspective. One thing is for sure, I miss my Sydney Boy a lot and I can hardly believe that its even possible to miss someone after such a short space of time. If nothing else, I think I'll be feeling much better at 7pm Friday when he gets off the plane.
Three more sleeps, three more sleeps, three more sleeps... that's been my mantra for the day. I bet you can guess what tomorrow's mantra will be to get me through the day.
I had an assignment for uni due on Friday so I was a little stressed toward the end of last week trying to get the assignment written. I also had an assignment due yesterday so I was stressed out all weekend trying to get my head around the poorly worded assignment question.
I'm also feeling stressed because I'm so unhappy with work. I'm unhappy with the people I work with and I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've almost wanted to resign on the spot this week so far (and its only Tuesday!!!). Its to the point now where I have actually felt sick every morning before work. Before you go off spreading rumours about pregnancies, its definitely not that. Its anxiety and I've had it before. Apparently when you stress, your stomach creates excess acid and this is what makes you feel sick. I know things aren't really *that* bad and the things that are bothering me happen in every office, but I'm just so over the same shit day in and day out, it'd be good to just be dealing with the same shit but with different people for a change. I couldn't sleep last night and it wouldn't surprise me if this is related.
I'm also probably over-tired and probably a little hormonal which certainly hasn't helped the situation.
Of course, in addition to this my lower back feels like it's out because its tight and sore (and therefore it restricts my movement), and my knees have been sore too... I've also been getting a sore tummy, the kind of sore tummy you sometimes get when you're mid-cycle, and its really uncomfortable. And I'm sure that these are all just physical manifestations of me stressing.
I've also got the wheels in motion to move to Sydney to be with my Sydney Boy. Nothing in concrete to speak of just yet, but chances are it could be happening really soon. I know that I can do this, and the challenge and adventure excites me. All things considered, the whole moving thing is pretty low risk. But at the same time, even though I know this, the change is also scary and its taking a massive leap into the unknown. I keep reminding myself that its low risk, that its not that big of a deal and have been feeling frustrated with myself for feeling like this. I went to a work breakfast this morning and one of the speakers talked about how she moved from Brisbane to Canberra and how big of an adjustment it was, how big and scary moving to another state was, and I realised, that there's nothing wrong with feeling apprehensive about moving because it is a big change, and lets face it, change can be scary even when its exciting! But of course, because of all this other stuff going on in the background, my perception and perspective on things is a little wonky...
Finally, as a result of all of this, I've been feeling so insecure about my Sydney Boy, and its definitely not warranted. The frustrating thing is that I know at the time I'm being stupid and irrational, but yet I get anxious anyway. As the Pink song goes... "its bad when you annoy yourself... I'm my own worst enemy" that's exactly how I've been feeling.
I also wonder whether it hasn't helped that I havent been eating as well as I have been so far this year, and I haven't managed to get much exercise in either. I was hoping to go for a jog tonight to see if that helped any, but by the time I got home tonight it was dark. I was planning to use the Wii Fit to at least do some yoga to release some of this tension from my muscles etc, only to discover that in the power surge the other night, the stupid bloody thing has shit itself. Yes, you can imagine how annoyed I was about that!!!
I know the feeling will pass, probably when I am not so tired and when I can manage to just get a little more perspective. One thing is for sure, I miss my Sydney Boy a lot and I can hardly believe that its even possible to miss someone after such a short space of time. If nothing else, I think I'll be feeling much better at 7pm Friday when he gets off the plane.
Three more sleeps, three more sleeps, three more sleeps... that's been my mantra for the day. I bet you can guess what tomorrow's mantra will be to get me through the day.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Sigh
I wish that he was here beside me.
... Our bodies 'fit' and I love that it feels so comfortable for me to curl up in the 'nook' to go to sleep.
... This time next week I'll be curled up beside him sleeping in his arms.
But next week feels so far away...
and everytime I think about it, I get those butterflies yet again......
.... I hope I never lose those butterflies.
Yes, I wish that he was here beside me.
... Our bodies 'fit' and I love that it feels so comfortable for me to curl up in the 'nook' to go to sleep.
... This time next week I'll be curled up beside him sleeping in his arms.
But next week feels so far away...
and everytime I think about it, I get those butterflies yet again......
.... I hope I never lose those butterflies.
Yes, I wish that he was here beside me.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Tying off loose threads
I suppose you may be wondering what happened to both Gruen and the X Factor so I may as well fill you in.
I haven't spoken to Gruen since I got back from Sydney. I don't even care about him anymore. If I hear from him I won't be replying. He's really not worth my time. I haven't heard from the Muso either, although I did see him online briefly tonight when I was talking to my Sydney Boy. He didnt say hi, and I was busy with my Sydney Boy so I didnt say hi either. I'm kind of relieved because for a while there, the way he was talking he was gearing up for something more, which I clearly didn't want.
I told the X Factor about my Sydney Boy this week too. I had organised to meet up with him so I could tell him face to face, but of course I began to wonder how exactly I was going to handle the situation. I mean, first of all he'd expect a pash when he first rocks up - how would I manage to get around that?! Second of all, he usually comes over to my house and stays the night - its not fair to expect him to drive 55 minutes to see me without knowing he wouldnt be staying the night.
I also felt pretty shitty telling X Factor by text message given his frail mental state - in these situations, I always like to think "how would I like to be treated in this situation?" and do that and I certainly wouldn't want to be told by text message. And I certainly don't want to have it on my conscience if he were to do anything stupid as a result of something I've said or done. So, I was in a bit of a catch 22.
I discussed the situation with my Sydney Boy (there are no secrets between us), who had the good sense to suggest that I send the X Factor a text message letting him know he wouldnt be able to stay over this time. Unfortunately however, this led to him asking why, and then if I'd met someone else. I couldn't lie.
He hasn't taken it very well. He didnt reply to my text messages checking on him yesterday and when I phoned him to check he was OK he was rude to me and I could tell by his voice that he was upset. I left it, despite feeling so bad knowing that its my fault he is feeling this way. I know I've done everything I can possibly do to do the right thing by him. I didn't lead him on, I didn't lie to him, I didn't just drop off the face of the planet, and I wasn't rude to him.
He sent me a text today apologising for his behaviour last night, saying that he was just disappointed and pissed off. I respect that he at least apologised. This shows he has grown as a person from when I first met him. He asked if we could at least have something casual. I of course had to clarify that I was actually now in a relationship with this guy I met, and therefore we could never be anything more than just mates. He hasnt replied to that message so I'm guessing that he's upset again.
I feel awful that I've hurt him this much - I'm not "that girl", the one that goes around hurting other people, the last thing I've ever wanted to do is hurt anyone, least of all someone who I know suffers from a mental illness... but I can't help it if the heart wants what it wants, and the heart wants my Sydney Boy... hands down... and I wouldnt want to jeopardise what we have for all the money in the world.
I haven't spoken to Gruen since I got back from Sydney. I don't even care about him anymore. If I hear from him I won't be replying. He's really not worth my time. I haven't heard from the Muso either, although I did see him online briefly tonight when I was talking to my Sydney Boy. He didnt say hi, and I was busy with my Sydney Boy so I didnt say hi either. I'm kind of relieved because for a while there, the way he was talking he was gearing up for something more, which I clearly didn't want.
I told the X Factor about my Sydney Boy this week too. I had organised to meet up with him so I could tell him face to face, but of course I began to wonder how exactly I was going to handle the situation. I mean, first of all he'd expect a pash when he first rocks up - how would I manage to get around that?! Second of all, he usually comes over to my house and stays the night - its not fair to expect him to drive 55 minutes to see me without knowing he wouldnt be staying the night.
I also felt pretty shitty telling X Factor by text message given his frail mental state - in these situations, I always like to think "how would I like to be treated in this situation?" and do that and I certainly wouldn't want to be told by text message. And I certainly don't want to have it on my conscience if he were to do anything stupid as a result of something I've said or done. So, I was in a bit of a catch 22.
I discussed the situation with my Sydney Boy (there are no secrets between us), who had the good sense to suggest that I send the X Factor a text message letting him know he wouldnt be able to stay over this time. Unfortunately however, this led to him asking why, and then if I'd met someone else. I couldn't lie.
He hasn't taken it very well. He didnt reply to my text messages checking on him yesterday and when I phoned him to check he was OK he was rude to me and I could tell by his voice that he was upset. I left it, despite feeling so bad knowing that its my fault he is feeling this way. I know I've done everything I can possibly do to do the right thing by him. I didn't lead him on, I didn't lie to him, I didn't just drop off the face of the planet, and I wasn't rude to him.
He sent me a text today apologising for his behaviour last night, saying that he was just disappointed and pissed off. I respect that he at least apologised. This shows he has grown as a person from when I first met him. He asked if we could at least have something casual. I of course had to clarify that I was actually now in a relationship with this guy I met, and therefore we could never be anything more than just mates. He hasnt replied to that message so I'm guessing that he's upset again.
I feel awful that I've hurt him this much - I'm not "that girl", the one that goes around hurting other people, the last thing I've ever wanted to do is hurt anyone, least of all someone who I know suffers from a mental illness... but I can't help it if the heart wants what it wants, and the heart wants my Sydney Boy... hands down... and I wouldnt want to jeopardise what we have for all the money in the world.
How did I get so lucky?
That's the question that I keep asking myself. He is now my first thought as I wake up in the morning. I put the flowers he gave me last weekend beside my bed, so they're the first thing I see when I wake up, that and the photo of us that we took when I was in Sydney. He's the only thing I can think about during the day. I can't focus properly on anything else at the moment. He's the last thing I think about as I'm drifting off to sleep. Most nights, I see him in my dreams too. I both hate and love this.
I love this for the obvious reasons, but sometimes I hate this feeling of wanting or needing someone so badly. It leaves me in such a position of vulnerability that frightens me. I also hate being so consumed by him that I am unable to focus on anything else. And yet, despite this, I hope with all my heart that this isn't just some unusual infatuation and that this will last much much longer than that. Every day I look forward to seeing his face on video cam and hearing his voice, although sometimes it seems so horrible that technology can deal such a cruel blow when he feels so close that I could just reach through the screen and stroke his cheek, or put my lips to his and kiss him and yet he's so far away.
There are now 7 more sleeps until I can see him again. Each day I wake up, and I want the day to go faster, so I can go to sleep again because this means that there are less sleeps until he will be here beside me. I'm counting and sleeping my life away.
I find it interesting how different things are with my Sydney Boy compared to others in the past. My last boyfriend was also from Sydney and yet I held off from going down there after I met him 'just in case it doesn't work out' and yet now I've got my Sydney Boy I feel so drawn to being near him that when I found out I didn't get the Sydney job today, I almost cried. I just want to snap my fingers and have me be down there, with him. Why are things so different?
He booked me a flight down to see him too, this week. Didn't I tell you he was fabulous? I fly down there on the Saturday and fly back on the Monday (a public holiday). So, all in all this month, this weekend is the only weekend we'll be apart. I know its not sustainable in the long term, or for very long to get to see each other three weekends in one month (especially if we're attempting to save to go to Fiji together this year!) which makes it all the more urgent for me to get a job down there so I can go be with him.
Finally, I want to share something he said last night (and I hope he doesnt mind me sharing it on here - I'd ask him but he's sleeping and I want to post this up tonight)... He said "the way you touch me, the way you hold me, the way kiss me is just so right"
Those are my thoughts too, and maybe that's the answer to my question, "why are things so different?"
I love this for the obvious reasons, but sometimes I hate this feeling of wanting or needing someone so badly. It leaves me in such a position of vulnerability that frightens me. I also hate being so consumed by him that I am unable to focus on anything else. And yet, despite this, I hope with all my heart that this isn't just some unusual infatuation and that this will last much much longer than that. Every day I look forward to seeing his face on video cam and hearing his voice, although sometimes it seems so horrible that technology can deal such a cruel blow when he feels so close that I could just reach through the screen and stroke his cheek, or put my lips to his and kiss him and yet he's so far away.
There are now 7 more sleeps until I can see him again. Each day I wake up, and I want the day to go faster, so I can go to sleep again because this means that there are less sleeps until he will be here beside me. I'm counting and sleeping my life away.
I find it interesting how different things are with my Sydney Boy compared to others in the past. My last boyfriend was also from Sydney and yet I held off from going down there after I met him 'just in case it doesn't work out' and yet now I've got my Sydney Boy I feel so drawn to being near him that when I found out I didn't get the Sydney job today, I almost cried. I just want to snap my fingers and have me be down there, with him. Why are things so different?
He booked me a flight down to see him too, this week. Didn't I tell you he was fabulous? I fly down there on the Saturday and fly back on the Monday (a public holiday). So, all in all this month, this weekend is the only weekend we'll be apart. I know its not sustainable in the long term, or for very long to get to see each other three weekends in one month (especially if we're attempting to save to go to Fiji together this year!) which makes it all the more urgent for me to get a job down there so I can go be with him.
Finally, I want to share something he said last night (and I hope he doesnt mind me sharing it on here - I'd ask him but he's sleeping and I want to post this up tonight)... He said "the way you touch me, the way you hold me, the way kiss me is just so right"
Those are my thoughts too, and maybe that's the answer to my question, "why are things so different?"
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
A modern day fairytale
Once upon a time, there lived a girl who met a prince. Unfortunately, before too long, she discovered that the prince was actually a toad in disguise. She was, needless to say, more than a little disappointed but being the optimist she was, she kept looking. She then met a toad and given the girl was open to trying new things, she figured she'd give him a go in the hope that maybe the toad would turn into a prince one day. He didn't. Time after time, she kept meeting more toads who never turned into princes and more princes who turned out to be toads. She turned to internet dating because she figured that she may as well have fun kissing all of these toads and at least provide some entertainment to her friends while she was at it. And then she met her Sydney Boy...
Hans Christian Andersen once said, "life itself is the most wonderful fairytale of all". This weekend, life with my Sydney Boy was most definitely the most wonderful fairytale of all and I'm, of course, very sad that he's gone home today.
Its so wonderful to meet someone who makes me feel like the most important girl in the world, who treats me like a princess. I got the most beautiful flowers from my Sydney Boy on Saturday night, as well as yummy chocolate. I also got a digital keyring which my Sydney Boy tells me means I can take him with me where ever I go. Little does he know that he already is with me where ever I go because he's in my heart already.
On Sunday we headed to Tin Can Bay, checked into our room and headed down to the beach with a bottle of wine, chocolate dip, strawberries and a towel for sunset. Of course where we were meant we didnt have the full effect of the sun going down over the water, but it was relaxing nonetheless as we had the little stretch of the beach to ourselves except for the odd person or two who walked their dog past us. Although it wasn't what I originally had in mind when I said I wanted to see the sunset, it seemed just right. In fact, I don't think it would have mattered where we were, as long as we were together.
On Monday we got up extra early to go and feed the dolphins, which was, by the way, pretty cool to be so close to such beautiful creatures. On our way back home, we stopped at Rainbow Beach briefly, and then at my grandparents for lunch. I'm told that my grandparents loved him, and think he's the best guy I've been with so far. I definitely agree. When we got back to Brisbane, we had dinner with his parents before spending our last night (well at least for a week and a half) together sleeping beside each other.
I took him to catch the plane this morning and I miss him already. It should be confirmed by the end of today that he'll be back next weekend. I can't wait...
I can't wait to be on the receiving end of his hugs, his kisses and his affection... I can't wait to make him smile and see the 'sparkle' in his eyes... I can't wait to smell him... I can't wait for more of his massages (sooooo good - definitely the best massage I havent had to pay for!)... I can't wait for more kisses and cuddles from him first thing in the morning. I can't wait for more of his 'loving'... the loving he gave me 6 times in just over 24 hours. He's the first man I've actually enjoyed slow sex with and actually wanted more of, which left me pretty surprised. Its never felt so intense for me like this before. Sex is usually just, well, sex for me but not with my Sydney Boy. Its different... What has he done to me?
There's just something about him that I can hold onto...
Now, if this was a fairytale, this would be where the story ends. Of course, I would write it so that we would ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after.
But, you know, I am not sure if I want this to be a fairytale. Fairytales are just that: they're not real. I would like to think that what Sydney Boy and I have IS real, and the story won't end here or any other time in the near future.
The real story... well, that one is only just beginning... and whatever the ending is, I know that in this very moment I am happy and I'm going to enjoy that, come what may.
Hans Christian Andersen once said, "life itself is the most wonderful fairytale of all". This weekend, life with my Sydney Boy was most definitely the most wonderful fairytale of all and I'm, of course, very sad that he's gone home today.
Its so wonderful to meet someone who makes me feel like the most important girl in the world, who treats me like a princess. I got the most beautiful flowers from my Sydney Boy on Saturday night, as well as yummy chocolate. I also got a digital keyring which my Sydney Boy tells me means I can take him with me where ever I go. Little does he know that he already is with me where ever I go because he's in my heart already.
On Sunday we headed to Tin Can Bay, checked into our room and headed down to the beach with a bottle of wine, chocolate dip, strawberries and a towel for sunset. Of course where we were meant we didnt have the full effect of the sun going down over the water, but it was relaxing nonetheless as we had the little stretch of the beach to ourselves except for the odd person or two who walked their dog past us. Although it wasn't what I originally had in mind when I said I wanted to see the sunset, it seemed just right. In fact, I don't think it would have mattered where we were, as long as we were together.
On Monday we got up extra early to go and feed the dolphins, which was, by the way, pretty cool to be so close to such beautiful creatures. On our way back home, we stopped at Rainbow Beach briefly, and then at my grandparents for lunch. I'm told that my grandparents loved him, and think he's the best guy I've been with so far. I definitely agree. When we got back to Brisbane, we had dinner with his parents before spending our last night (well at least for a week and a half) together sleeping beside each other.
I took him to catch the plane this morning and I miss him already. It should be confirmed by the end of today that he'll be back next weekend. I can't wait...
I can't wait to be on the receiving end of his hugs, his kisses and his affection... I can't wait to make him smile and see the 'sparkle' in his eyes... I can't wait to smell him... I can't wait for more of his massages (sooooo good - definitely the best massage I havent had to pay for!)... I can't wait for more kisses and cuddles from him first thing in the morning. I can't wait for more of his 'loving'... the loving he gave me 6 times in just over 24 hours. He's the first man I've actually enjoyed slow sex with and actually wanted more of, which left me pretty surprised. Its never felt so intense for me like this before. Sex is usually just, well, sex for me but not with my Sydney Boy. Its different... What has he done to me?
There's just something about him that I can hold onto...
Now, if this was a fairytale, this would be where the story ends. Of course, I would write it so that we would ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after.
But, you know, I am not sure if I want this to be a fairytale. Fairytales are just that: they're not real. I would like to think that what Sydney Boy and I have IS real, and the story won't end here or any other time in the near future.
The real story... well, that one is only just beginning... and whatever the ending is, I know that in this very moment I am happy and I'm going to enjoy that, come what may.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Waiting for tonight
I write this with only an hour or two til I see my Sydney Boy. I am so excited, I might just burst. We've spent the last week on Skype every night until all hours, chatting. Its my favourite part of the day now. I have butterflies in my stomach every time I think about seeing him today, although I'm not quite sure why. It is what it is, and will be what it will be... the butterflies aren't from nervousness or worry, but from excitement of what lies ahead this weekend and beyond this weekend.
Its hard to believe that just over two months ago, I started this blog to keep some of my friends up to date with my internet dating adventures, thinking this would just be a bit of a laugh. I read back on some of my blogs I've written and I'm glad I documented them - its all part of the journey. I'm also glad that I wrote about my Sydney Boy - every time I read back over what I've written, its like reliving those moments over and over again. This and the video calls have been what has carried me through the waiting until I can see him.
I'm really not sure whether to maintain this blog anymore, I mean, what could I possibly have to write about now? Its certainly not my "Datebook" any longer as the only dates I'll be having anytime in the near (and hopefully far!!) future are with my Sydney Boy.
He's read this blog now too, by the way. At first I almost died of embarrassment... but he says he feels the same way. In fact, he liked a the paragraph where I described our first kiss, so much that he posted (with my permission of course!) that paragraph into his status on Facebook. Cute! Now, in a way, I'm kind of glad that he has read it. He thinks I should keep writing, but I think he just wants to read nice things about himself ;)
I just can't help but be amused at how quickly this blog has almost become a Mills and Boon style romance story... definitely a long way from where it started thats for sure. I never imagined when I wrote my first blog that things would end up here.
I'd better go make some dinner and get ready for my Sydney Boy. He says he has a surprise for me this weekend, and, well, I have one for him too, but he doesn't know it yet...
There are those butterflies again...
Its hard to believe that just over two months ago, I started this blog to keep some of my friends up to date with my internet dating adventures, thinking this would just be a bit of a laugh. I read back on some of my blogs I've written and I'm glad I documented them - its all part of the journey. I'm also glad that I wrote about my Sydney Boy - every time I read back over what I've written, its like reliving those moments over and over again. This and the video calls have been what has carried me through the waiting until I can see him.
I'm really not sure whether to maintain this blog anymore, I mean, what could I possibly have to write about now? Its certainly not my "Datebook" any longer as the only dates I'll be having anytime in the near (and hopefully far!!) future are with my Sydney Boy.
He's read this blog now too, by the way. At first I almost died of embarrassment... but he says he feels the same way. In fact, he liked a the paragraph where I described our first kiss, so much that he posted (with my permission of course!) that paragraph into his status on Facebook. Cute! Now, in a way, I'm kind of glad that he has read it. He thinks I should keep writing, but I think he just wants to read nice things about himself ;)
I just can't help but be amused at how quickly this blog has almost become a Mills and Boon style romance story... definitely a long way from where it started thats for sure. I never imagined when I wrote my first blog that things would end up here.
I'd better go make some dinner and get ready for my Sydney Boy. He says he has a surprise for me this weekend, and, well, I have one for him too, but he doesn't know it yet...
There are those butterflies again...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)