I am the luckiest

If you had told me 6 months ago that I would be where I am today, as happy as I am today, I'd probably have laughed in your face.  If you had told me 6 months ago that I would meet someone as wonderful as my Sydney Boy who would keep me more than satisfied and completely happy after 3 months with not one complaint, I'd have told you that you were dreaming.  And yet here I am, living with the man of my dreams, who has exceeded all of my expectations, who makes me happier than I could have dreamed of, who I do not have a single real complaint about.  Maybe it is me who is dreaming.

I really do feel as though I'm the luckiest girl in the world.  I'm sure that most girls feel that way about their partners and really, thats the way it should be right?

Last week, my Sydney Boy gave me the most gorgeous necklace.  Its a heart with a photo of us embossed on one side, and "Friends 4 Life" engraved on the other.  Its perhaps the most thoughtful gift I've ever been given.  I absolutely LOVE it.  When I wear it, I feel like I'm closer to him when we're apart.  I don't want to take it off.

We had so much fun on the weekend - his mate came over for dinner on Saturday night and I cooked chicken nachos and a Chocolate and Caramel Self Saucing Pudding for dessert. It was a good night - I'm glad that his mate and I get along so well.

I can hardly believe how domesticated I've become.  For a girl who would quite often have 2 min noodles for dinner, if I even ate at all, I'm now making all sorts of dishes and funnily enough I actually enjoy cooking for my Sydney Boy.  He's a bit on the fussy side when it comes to eating preferences, but what I like is that he'll give the dish a try.  I love that he trusts me enough to at least try it.  That's important.

On Sunday, we went to Bicentennial Park with the same mate from the night before where we tried to fly a kite (which sadly, failed... we'll definitely have to go again with another kite until we can fly the damn thing!!!).  It was a fun morning/arvo which was topped off by having some lunch before going to see the netball semifinals at the Acer Arena.  My Sydney Boy surprised me with the tickets on Friday night.  The only possible way the weekend could get any better happened when my Sydney Boy cooked a roast dinner on Sunday night for me. 

I miss my Sydney Boy already this week.  He's on night shift so I really only get to snuggle with him when he gets home from work at 5.30am but I have to get up an hour later.  Talking on the phone while he's working just isn't the same and it makes me feel so frustrated - it makes me miss him so much more.  I can't wait until Friday - he has a whole 6 days off so I'll have him for the entire weekend, AND half of the week next week I'll get to come home to him.  He tells me he's been looking up things he can cook for me - I love that he wants to do that for me - just one more reason why I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.


The last two years have been tough, certainly the toughest of my short life so far.  I'm so glad that I had the determination to power on, and not let it all get me down, to learn what I could from it, and, most importantly, believe that life would get better.  Perhaps if I hadn't had that belief and determination my life would be far more gloomy today.

A friend posted this quote on her Facebook status the other day which I think sums up what I guess that I'm trying to say "

“Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, to those who still love even though they've been hurt before.

My Sydney Boy is my reward, and what a wonderful reward it is - and I'm lapping up every single last ounce of it.

In the words of Ben Folds Five, "I am the luckiest"

A new approach

I've been doing some self reflection lately, and its been the topic of some of our nightly discussions as we learn to live with each other.  What I find interesting is how differently I have approached and am approaching this relationship, to the way I have been in other relationships in the past.

My Sydney Boy and I were watching the reality TV show, "Tough Love" the other night, and it occured to me how laid back I am with him, compared to those women, and to my past self.  Watching this show, I realised how much I trust him, and how secure I feel being in this relationship.  I have never had to question his feelings for me (except when I'm PMS-ing, but that doesnt count lol) and I have never felt the need to 'investigate' him in the way I've seen other girls 'investigate' their boyfriends from time to time.  Every day when he wakes up, I see the smile on his face when he first sees me.  Every day when he or I get home from work, I see the smile on his face when he sees me.  I feel it in his kisses, in his hugs, and in his 'loving'.  I see it when he washes the dishes for me, or when he does things around the house.  Take, for instance today, he saw that the washing basket was full, and knowing that I am going away tomorrow for the weekend, he went and washed the clothes so that I would have clean clothes to take with me.  I even see it when he tries foods that I suggest or cook that he usually wouldn't eat.  He may not always say it, but his actions speak very loudly about how he feels about me, and this makes me feel very secure in our relationship.

Of course, there's always that nagging doubt in the back of my head, that girl who has been hurt far too many times than she cares to remember, the one who was often told (either verbally or by action or inaction) that she wasn't good enough.  She's scared that one day he will wake up and wonder what he is doing with her, or what he sees in her, or realise that the feelings he had for her are no longer there.  Luckily that girl is silenced pretty easily by my more rational self and only really ever comes out in times of high stress (ie exams + little sleep + sick grandfather) and hormones - I cried reading the news yesterday for heavens sake!!!!  I think most of us women have these same fears in the back of their heads, but I'd like to think that there comes a time when those fears just disappear.

The other thing I've noticed, is that I'm much more laid back when it comes to things around the house. 

Example 1: The other night, my Sydney Boy made Meatloaf and steamed veges, that was waiting for me when I got home from work.  I found out that my Sydney Boy didn't make it from scratch.  In fact, he bought it from the butcher, so effectively, all he had to do was put it in the oven, and then put the veges in the microwave.  In the past, I'd have been less than impressed.  I may have considered it a little lazy.  Not this time though.  This time, I don't even CARE how it was cooked, whether he made it from scratch or not.  It doesn't matter.  What matters to me is that he cooked something, anything.  What matters to me is that I didn't have to come home after working all day and deal with making dinner.  What matters to me is that it wasn't fast food, or deep fried - it was healthy.  What matters to me is that it was ready when I got home.  What matters to me is that he was thoughtful enough to consider how I felt and try and make my life better for me.  That makes me want to make life better for him.  In fact, it seems that the more he does for me, the more I want to do for him, and in turn the more he wants to do for me.  That is a cycle that I do not want to break, although I know its only early days and the novelty is yet to wear off.

Example 2: My Sydney Boy likes doing the washing up one way, I like doing it another.  Once upon a time, I'd have nagged him to do it my way (and in turn caused ill feeling toward me, and frustration for me when he did it his own way anyway, and made me into a nagging girlfriend).  Now, I don't care how he does the darn job, I'm just happy he does it at all!!!!!!!!

Of course, this is all in the context of the "Honeymoon Period" so perhaps my thoughts right now should be taken lightly until proven to be sustainable over a long period of time, however I just feel like I have so much more perspective than in other past relationships.  I think this is probably a combination of learning from past mistakes (by learning to be able to better identify what is important vs what is not), and the difference in the relationship itself.

All of this said, I'm at a loss about how any other girl could possibly have let this man go.  I just don't understand it.  He has never given me any reason to doubt him, has always made me feel loved, desired and wanted, he tells me that I look good (and is ever so sincere when he says it), gives me lots of cuddles and kisses (without me having to ask for it!), gives me affection that isn't only aimed at getting laid, is thoughtful, cooks for me, cleans up when I'm at work and he isn't, he's funny, sincere, down to earth, is always looking for things we can do together, includes me in things that involve his mates, and gives me everything I could ever want from a man.  No matter what he wears, he always looks so damn sexy and he just looks so darned cute when he sleeps - it just makes me want to kiss him over and over again every time I look at my sleeping Sydney Boy.  He just melts my heart....

...  And...

... he has a cute man bum [blush].

How the hell did I become so lucky?!?!  And what did I ever do to deserve all of this?!

Sydney - a whole month's reflection

Wow how my first month in Sydney has just flown. It spins me out when I think just how dramatically my life has changed in just a short space of time, and for the better I might add.

A month into my job, and I've got my own workload that I'm allowed to manage on my own which I prefer - I hate having to rely on others to provide me with work.  They seem really happy with me there but of course there's gotta be work there for me to do post 31 July or I won't have a job there no matter how much they like me and want to keep me.  I'll have a chat toward the end of this month to see whether its likely they'll extend me or not.  I'll keep in touch with my temping agency to ensure that hopefully there'll be no gaps in employment.  I guess I kind of thought that once I got through all of the immediate risks when I arrived (ie finding a job ASAP and finding a place to live) that would be the end of the risks.  What I didn't factor in was that I'll have to keep managing the risk of temping as best as I can.  One of the temps at work had a gap of six weeks before this job, and the other had a gap of a week so of course the thought that I could be out of work for 6 weeks without an income bothers me quite significantly.  Sure I could probably afford a week but after that I'd be royally screwed.  I'm going to start looking for permanent work to at least give me some job security on that front.  I can always resign if and when we (meaning the Sydney Boy and I) go back to Queensland.

Which, I guess, brings me to the most important and exciting part of my story... my Sydney Boy.  He really is such a joy and brings such happiness to my life, more than I had thought possible.  And... I have a confession to make...

We moved in together.  Come on, as if you DIDN'T see that coming...

We found a cute little studio apartment which is in a suburb that seemed to be a great compromise for us both: its close to a major transport hub for me to get to and from work, and its also close enough for him to travel to and from his work too.  We're a block away from the shopping centre and train station so its really convenient for me without a car down here (and no intention of driving down here, despite my Sydney Boy's insistence!).  I really do love it here.  Of course its not a castle, but I hope that with a few touches I have made it our own.  We've been here two weeks now and I still have a few things left to do to 'make it ours' but we've now got photos on the fridge, flowers by the bed, and even a colour theme (black, red and purple).  Its starting to really feel like home, at least to me, and I hope to my Sydney Boy too.

I love the rituals and routines that have started to form... I love waking up beside my Sydney Boy every morning, I like the feeling of the newness of waking up together, I love having my morning coffee and my breakky on these crisp mornings (although I suspect I'll begin to like it less so as winter approaches), I love the kiss goodbye before I go to work, and of course I love the compliments when I look particularly good in the morning before I go to work.  I love getting home to discover that the washing up has been done and the clothes have been washed.  On the nights when my Sydney Boy has had the day off, I love walking in the door to a warm apartment because my Sydney Boy has put the heating on for me, and smelling a delicious dinner cooked by him waiting just for me.  And on the nights that I get home before my Sydney Boy, I like cooking dinner for him, and I love the fact that he's eaten things for me that he wouldnt ordinarily have eaten... and enjoyed it.  Its so much better to cook for someone else than to cook for myself thats for sure.  I love that when he gets home from working nightshift in the wee hours of the morning, that he wearily gets in, takes his work clothes off and snuggles up to me in bed, where I'm all warm. 

But, most of all, I enjoy our night time ritual or routine that seems to have come about for no other reason than our shower is a bit tempermental.  When I say tempermental, I mean it seems to remember only two temperatures: scalding hot or ice ice cold.  If you're lucky sometimes you can get it to stay on the cold side of lukewarm for long enough to sud yourself off, but quite often it'll turn scalding hot or ice ice cold without any warning.  So, we started taking a bath... together.  Its so completely relaxing at the end of the day to just get in the tub, and lie back with my head on my Sydney Boy's chest and chat about our day, or whatever else we want to talk about.  Sometimes I even get some kisses on my forehead - what girl doesnt enjoy those?!?!

We've been pretty busy these past couple of weeks setting up house together, and I've had exams which hasn't helped.  My Sydney Boy's work schedule has been a bit topsy turvey this week too, so I other than the couple of hours I got with my Sydney Boy last night, I haven't really seen him properly since Monday, and unfortunately won't get much of a chance to do so now until next Monday night. 

Although I do enjoy the time to myself here just pottering about, reading my book, watching tv, etc, after an hour or two, I begin to miss my Sydney Boy as I realise how empty this apartment is without him.  I have no idea how I lived in a three bedroom house before on my own when now our tiny studio apartment feels so empty on nights like these!

Life is just... wonderful and I wouldn't have it any other way.